My sister got married this weekend. I was honored to be the
person who walked her down the aisle. I could never fill Dad’s shoes, but I did
rock some killer tennis shoes he would have loved. The party was a blast,
everyone danced, drank, ate, drank, partied, drank…and ended the evening with
White Castles. All in all, it was a party Dad would have been proud of.
We missed his killer dance moves. But my mom did order him a
plate, and he had a seat of honor right next to her. He probably missed her
looking like a movie star.
But he would have been overshadowed by her beauty,
anyway. So it was probably best he was there in spirit only. He would have just
been background noise to our awesome, right?
My father was always behind the camera, taking pictures of
everyone and documenting every milestone he could. On Christmas mornings, we
weren’t allowed to come into the room until he had set the tripod and video
camera up in just the right spot so that no one missed anything. At the time I thought
it was annoying. Now, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if we recently
found a video tape of him, my mother, and two of their friends painting the
ceiling in our living room. No, really, it’s hours of them painting the
ceiling. We won’t even delve into the hours of him and their friends playing
Risk that we found, as well. When we say he documented everything – we really
mean EVERYTHING.
This also meant that he was absent from a lot of pictures.
But that didn’t stop him from showing up in almost every roll of film. Before
the invention of smart phones and self-facing cameras that man still took a
selfie as often as possible. You’d pick a roll of film up and there’d be 25 of
me opening my birthday presents, then his mug, then more present pictures. He
was king of the selfie before the selfie was a thing. When he passed away, we
had an entire board at the funeral home dedicated to selfies that we found
going back to the 70s.
It only seemed fitting, then, that when I walked my sister
down the aisle – we would take a selfie. And we did. The music started,
everyone stood, we took a step out, and everyone looked back at her. And who could
blame them, she looked amazing. And then we walked her down the aisle to get
married. Just kidding, first – let us take a selfie.
The ceremony was beautiful, full of laughter, and some
tears. It’s hard to not feel like we’re losing another member of our family as
we “let her go” (and no, I’m not singing Frozen songs – trust me) but we know
she’s in good hands. Dad would have been proud of her, of her husband, and of
me for not tripping as I walked her down the aisle.
When we got to the front of the fireplace where they were
married, her husband-to-be was choked up. I can’t say I blame him. She joked,
under her breath, that it was because he realized he’d been duped into this. I
added in he was probably just tearing up because he realized there was no way
out now. But really it was because she looked stunning and he loves her almost
as much as our family does. I say almost as much because he didn’t have to
listen to her slamming doors as a teenager. And he never saw how mad she gets
at me when I make a bad joke at her expense. Which, to be fair, is pretty
often.
I am not, surprise, a wedding lover. And talking about it
for the last year, as Dad had just passed – was not something I was incredibly
open and supportive about. Luckily my mom and sister were focused and paid attention
to every detail. My job was over when I sat down next to my mother and I could
just enjoy watching the two of them profess their love for each other. I was so
happy to see everyone being so happy FOR her. I snuck a picture of her man of
honor holding her flowers. Mainly just to be funny that he had to hold a bouquet
of flowers for so long.
But when I looked back at it, the expression of pure
joy he has on his face is priceless. And it sums up the feeling that I think
everyone had. They were happy. We were, of course, sad that Dad couldn’t be
there. But he was. For every moment of it. I know it would have been nice if he
could have sat next to my mom and held her hand. So they could be proud and (I’m
sure) also a little bit sad to see her get married to someone she has loved for
so long. Instead, she was stuck with just me. But I was glad she was there for
me to hold her hand. Sometimes you get wrapped up in your own thoughts and
feelings and you forget about everything else happening in the world. Or at
least everything happening in your world. I hope, for you, that if and when
that happens – you have a moment like I did on Saturday. When something so good
breaks through all of that and you can feel happy for other people. And I am. I’m
happy that they’re happy. I’m happy that my friends and family had such a great
time. I’m happy that someone else did my hair and made it look so spectacular.
But mainly, I just felt happy. It wasn’t a day for me, by any means. It was her
day and it went off without a hitch. But I do feel like I got a present filled with
happy. And I suppose a brother. I always asked my parents for an older brother.
But I suppose that ship has sailed and I’ll have to make do with that I got.
Just kidding, he’s way taller than me – so I suppose that’s a big brother,
right?
It was a wonderful day. My mother (and sister) know how to
throw a party. I think Dad would have been proud to be a part of it. And I’m
not just saying that because we’re a good looking bunch. But also because he
would have been proud of all of us. Mainly them, they did all the work. But he
always cut me a bunch of slack. So I think he would have lumped me into that
group, too.
My sister was thoughtful and incorporated so many things
that my father loved. For her bridal shower, my mother and I gave her a Doctor
Who scarf from Dad’s favorite Doctor.
She rocked it. I’m not even being biased
as a big sister. She really rocked it. And her friend made her a killer set of
Tardis heels for the ceremony. Dad would have been completely geeked out. I
should have taken a picture of Brittany and the shoes, but instead I think you’ll
have to settle for a selfie of her and I.
It was a wonderful weekend. And I’m proud to say my little
sister is all grown up. Well, I’m using that term loosely. She did wear a
Spongebob shirt to brunch yesterday with a #Swag logo. But we wouldn’t have her
any other way.
Let's have one final moment of "holy crap she looks beautiful" and p.s., your Dad's showing, Emily.
